Kitchen Tip

I hear that Experience is the best teacher. Could be true.

It is probably less troublesome to learn through someone else's experience, so today we attempt to spread the word and bring you this important notice:

What *Not* To Do In The Kitchen

First I draw your attention to the microwave oven. Apparently, most kitchens have them now. Even a motorhome such as Dancer comes with one as standard equipment.

Dancer's microwave has slightly different control buttons than our previous machine did. But after a couple years, a person might think he had gotten the hang of this one.

A person might also be wrong.

One of the frequent users of this microwave was busy one day last week preparing dinner. The menu that night included Mini-Meatloaf and zapped potatoes. Two smallish potatoes had been scrubbed and placed in the zapper (microwave oven) to await their turn. The Mini-Meatloaf was simmering on the stovetop, heat turned low, lid on.

The chef decided to take this opportunity to step outside for a few minutes. Before leaving, the timer on the microwave was set to alert when the Mini-Meatloaf should stop simmering and the potatoes be zapped. The time was set for 20 minutes.

Meanwhile, over on the sofa, the non-cook was absorbed with work, not paying attention to what was happening in the kitchen. Until...

"Honey? Something smells strange!"

A face appears at the window. "Did you say something?"

"Yes, I said something smells strange. Are you cooking?"

"Yes, but it should be OK..." The chef comes inside and heads to the kitchen.

"Oh, ##%!!! The microwave!"

Ahem.

Important points to remember:

  1. When you want to use the timer on the microwave, please be certain you have pushed the "timer" button *before* you push the "start" button.

  2. If you forget step 1, you now have a perfect opportunity to test the effectiveness and response time of your smoke alarm.

  3. Once you have put the fire out, you now have a perfect opportunity to scrub out the microwave oven, wash the walls, counters, floors, ceiling, cabinets and thank your lucky stars the damage wasn't more extensive or permanent.

  4. After you locate those seldom used scented candles, you notice they don't do much to eliminate the very peculiar odor of burned out potatoes.

  5. Potatoes that have been, shall we say, "zapped to the extreme" are hollow shells of their former selves.

  6. Do NOT try this at home.

And in the future, if you should read this

Classic Kitchen Tip:

"To eliminate lingering odors from your microwave, boil a large cup of water for several minutes, stop the microwave, thoroughly wipe the walls and vents of your machine. Rinse and repeat."

you will know from what experience this gem of wisdom grew.

© 2003-2005 Mari Bontrager